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This is the dialogue in the video, Top 5 Cartoons I Hate That Everyone Likes.

  • PhantomStrider: Howdy! This is PhantomStrider! And I wel—
  • [His shirt rips]
  • PhantomStrider: Ugh! That's a nasty rip. This shirt wasn't worth the $4.00 I paid for it. Well, you mind helping me choose a new shirt?
  • Audience: Yay!
  • PhantomStrider: Thanks. 
  • Take #1 (Navy Blue Button-Up Shirt)
  • PhantomStrider: Howdy!
  • Audience: Nah!
  • Take #2 (Peach Button-Up Shirt)
  • PhantomStrider: Howdy!
  • Audience: Nah!
  • Take #3 (Steven Universe T-Shirt)
  • PhantomStrider: And howdy!
  • Audience: Nah!
  • Take #4 (Mr. Universe T-Shirt)
  • PhantomStrider: Howdy!
  • Audience: Nah!
  • [Strider becomes "Dark Strider"]
  • Dark Strider: Fine! How about Dark Strider then?
  • Audience: Ehhhh...
  • Dark Strider: Well, we can figure it out later. Let's just do the review. For now, let's move on some cartoons that are long since been forgotten and abandoned. These shameful desecration threaten to soil the reputation and then the company that comes into contact with them. So let's check out the Top 5 WORST Forgotten Cartoons! And if you do like these cartoons, or these people, that's great. It's just my usual silly personal opinion and I'm glad you can enjoy them. Anyway, onto the countdown! #5...
  • #5: Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling (1985)
  • ​Dark Strider:​ 
  • #4: Teamo Supremo (2002)
  • Dark Strider: 
  • #3: Mighty B! (2008)
  • Dark Strider: ARGH! Mighty B will make you furious for the entire Girl Scout Foundation! For the mere existence of this girl, filled with ear-grating yelling nerd girls stereotypes in its incredibly meandering story, Mighty B just feels like the pounding frustration of a 9-year-old girl continuously poking you. Bessie, AKA: Mighty B, is just not an enjoyable character to watch for me. Most of the episodes seem to revolve around her continuously pestering and bothering those around her until they finally relent to just get away from her, while she dismissing her worshiping younger brother, while talking to her invisible "finger friend". I'm as confused as you are. And most of the jokes seem to revolve around Bessie repeating the same phrase over and over until you think your DVD is broken.
  • [Bessie continuously says "Stay!" to her dog several times]
  • Dark Strider: For me, it was an irritating waste of 20 minutes that made me dislike the entire Girls Scout Foundation. And the 2nd Worst Forgotten Cartoon is...
  • #2: Alice in Wonderland (2010)
  • [One of the songs is heard in the background]
  • Dark Strider: This can't be real! This just can't be real! An "animation" done using the audio from a 1930's radio play, and it looks like it was animated live by rhesus monkeys while they had their heads in beehives. This cartoon is like giving a six-year-old arts and crafts student a museum exhibit. What can be said about this animation train wreck that isn't bleedingly obvious? It's voice acting is, well, straight from the '30s, so of course it stinks!
  • [Cat meows]
  • Dark Strider: I don't think radio comedy even existed until The Goon Show in 1950's. And this "animation" is easily among the ugliest animation I have ever seen in my life. And I've watched freaking Angela Anaconda! But Angela Anaconda actually looks sophisticated by contrast. That's how low we sunk! It's still more grotesque to look at Angela Anaconda, but at least they were kind of trying. And I'm not kidding about the audio. This thing sounds like ear sodomy mixed with angry bees and a broken speaker.
  • [Crowd sings]
  • Dark Strider: This is SO FAR below any previous remake of Alice in Wonderland that it's broken through the Earth's crust and sailed through the other side of the universe! Zero originality, zero thought, zero creativity, and zero effort! Alice in Wonderland: F--! If there existed a Z-- in grades, I'd give you that instead! And the #1 worst forgotten cartoon is... The Slim Shady Show!
  • #1: The Slim Shady Show (2000) [Heads up: Some crude sexual references and coarse language in this cartoon.]
  • [One of the characters has intercourse with a "South Park" character]
  • Dark Striker: Oh, god! Animation honestly doesn't get much worse than this. I know I say that a lot, but it really doesn't. How did I miss this one? This one easily falls into the category of ROTTENThe Slim Shady Show is absolutely horrendous in every way you can imagine — it's insulting, it's stupid, it's immature, it's crass, it's annoying, it has no reason to exist, it's pointless, it's boring; it's just Eminem being obnoxious!
  • Eminem: Chill, Marshall. You know every time he sees some over-height bullshit celebrities got to beat them down.
  • Dark Strider: Because you know what cartoons need more of? White Rappers. With animation that looks like the remains of an uncleaned Taco Bell toilet. The jokes are spiteful, weak, and only made more unbearable by the rapper's self-obsessed voice chiming in every half a second. I am a little biased on this one because I find kidney stones more pleasant than Eminem. But even if it wasn't just Eminem parading his insecurities and ego, it's still among the worst cartoons I've seen! The cartoon looks God-Awful! I mean, just look at this brownish greamy red color palette! So this plot tends to revolve around this sad waste of oxygen as he beats up celebrities who made fun of him before, and sends entire buses of schoolchildren drowning in the ocean, because, you know, that's funny. Yeah, what a class act, Eminem. I hope you're happy with yourself. This show is offensive, it's crass, it's annoying, and sums up Eminem pretty well. It was an endless slog to watch these, and they're only 5 minutes each! The only redeeming feature is that there's only 5 episodes. I'm sorry to go on for so long, but I just despise everything about this cartoon!
  • [One of the characters beats up another character with gym equipment]
  • Dark Strider: That's it! Congratulations, Slim Shady Show! You have now replaced King Star King as the #4 worst cartoon of all time! Well done, you utter peace of revolting defecation! Frankly, I think my hero, Weird Al, summed up this cartoon, and Eminem, best of all!
  • [An interview with "Weird Al" Yankovic and Eminem]
  • The Conclusion

Dark Strider: Clearly, I was WRONG! There's clearly NO hope for cartoons! In fact, I'm gonna watch some modern cartoons right now, just to prove my point!

  • [Watches the shows from his Best Modern Cartoons list; thus giving him a new orange shirt for his reviews]
  • PhantomStrider: Hey! This feels perfect! Alright, thanks for watching! And I'll see you next time!
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