This is the dialogue in the video, Worst Forgotten Cartoons.
- PhantomStrider: Howdy! This is PhantomStrider! And I wel—
- [His shirt rips]
- PhantomStrider: Ugh! That's a nasty rip. This shirt wasn't worth the $4.00 I paid for it. Well, you mind helping me choose a new shirt?
- Audience: Yay!
- PhantomStrider: Thanks.
- Take #1 (Grey Button-Up Shirt)
- PhantomStrider: Howdy!
- Audience: Nah!
- Take #2 (Peach Button-Up Shirt)
- PhantomStrider: Howdy!
- Audience: Nah!
- Take #3 (Steven Universe T-Shirt)
- PhantomStrider: And howdy!
- Audience: Nah!
- Take #4 (Mr. Universe T-Shirt)
- PhantomStrider: Howdy!
- Audience: Nah!
- [Strider becomes "Dark Strider"]
- Dark Strider: Fine! How about Dark Strider then?
- Audience: Ehhhh...
- Dark Strider: Well, we can figure it out later. Let's just do the review. For now, let's move on some cartoons that are long since been forgotten and abandoned. These shameful desecration threaten to soil the reputation and then the company that comes into contact with them. So let's check out the Top 5 WORST Forgotten Cartoons! And if you do like these cartoons, or these people, that's great. It's just my usual silly personal opinion and I'm glad you can enjoy them. Anyway, onto the countdown! #5...
- #5: Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling (1985)
- Dark Strider: Does anyone else remember this insanely camp relic from the 80s? Again, I've got nothing against wrestling, it just happens to be a really camp, weird, bad forgotten cartoon. Back when Hulk Hogan was basically seen as God, he actually managed to get his own cartoon show.
- Hulk Hogan: It gets me WILD, man!
- Dark Strider: Most of the WWF crew were the stars of the show, yet for some reason absolutely none of the WWF characters actually voiced their roles. I guess they were too busy or didn't want to be seen within 500 meters of this cartoon? Hulk Hoigan's Rock 'n' Wrestling oozes so much cheese it's like that it causes coronary complications. Even when I first saw it, its sexist cartoon made no sense. I distinctly remember watching an episode and turning to my mom to ask, "Why do all these men have giant cars?". And my mom said the very complicated word, "Compensation". I didn't know what it meant at the time, but, uh, it makes more sense now. You may have noticed that the animation is about as tolerable as a cement milkshake. This is because--of course--our good old buddies down at DiC Animation stuck this one together. This one's at the start of the list though, because, honestly, it has good morals behind it and it was obviously trying to set a good example for the young wrestling fans and it's pretty hard to pulpit for that. But the best part of the cartoon? The theme song. The singer Bonnie Tyler even ended up adapting it to her album.
- (Theme song plays while Dark Strider chants along)
- Dark Strider: And for number 4...
- #4: Teamo Supremo (2002)
- Dark Strider: I can't be the only person who thought this was one of the laziest cartoons Disney has ever churned out. Something about the designs of these faces and the voices just grates on my nerve. The three main characters' voices annoy me that precious tone that Disney loves to invoke in their early cartoons. And the plot is so paper-thin and cliched that it's laughable. Our main hero, Crandall, looks around his playground and picks Rope Girl & Skate Pal; the new most unoriginal names in the world, as superheroes. Rope Girl is called Rope Girl because she's good with a skipping rope, and Skate Lad is--yes--good at skating. The rest of the episodes basically consider them yelling: "BUH-ZA!", "CHI-KA!" or, "WUH-PA!" as they fight villains in what feels like unfinished animation scenes. I know it's trying to pay homages to 60s superhero shows, but it just comes down as dull and meandering as a result. This is one of the only Disney cartoons I've seen that feels at a level of DiC Animation in its laziness. Like Johnny Test, it feels uninspired, lazy, and like it was drawn up in five minutes on a napkin to try and impress the youths. And the third worst forgotten cartoon is...
- #3: Mighty B! (2008)
- Dark Strider: ARRGH! Mighty B will make you furious for the entire Girl Scout Foundation! For the mere existence of this girl, filled with ear-grating yelling nerd girls stereotypes in its incredibly meandering story, Mighty B just feels like the pounding frustration of a 9-year-old girl continuously poking you. Bessie, AKA: Mighty B, is just not an enjoyable character to watch for me. Most of the episodes seem to revolve around her continuously pestering and bothering those around her until they finally relent to just get away from her, while she dismissing her worshiping younger brother, while talking to her invisible "finger friend". I'm as confused as you are. And most of the jokes seem to revolve around Bessie repeating the same phrase over and over until you think your DVD is broken.
- [Bessie continuously says "Stay!" to her dog several times]
- Dark Strider: For me, it was an irritating waste of 20 minutes that made me dislike the entire Girls Scout Foundation.
- [Bessie rapidly saying "Stay!" to her dog]
- Dark Strider: And the 2nd Worst Forgotten Cartoon is...
- #2: Alice in Wonderland (2010)
- [One of the songs is heard in the background]
- Dark Strider: This can't be real! This just can't be real! An "animation" done using the audio from a 1930's radio play, and it looks like it was animated live by rhesus monkeys while they had their heads in beehives. This cartoon is like giving a six-year-old arts and crafts student a museum exhibit. What can be said about this animation train wreck that isn't bleedingly obvious? It's voice acting is, well, straight from the '30s, so of course it stinks!
- [Cheshire Cat meows]
- Dark Strider: I don't think radio comedy even existed until The Goon Show in 1950's. And this "animation" is easily among the ugliest animation I have ever seen in my life. And I've watched freaking Angela Anaconda! But Angela Anaconda actually looks sophisticated by contrast. That's how low we sunk! It's still more grotesque to look at Angela Anaconda, but at least they were kind of trying. And I'm not kidding about the audio. This thing sounds like ear sodomy mixed with angry bees and a broken speaker.
- [Crowd of turtles or tortoises sings]
- Dark Strider: This is SO FAR below any previous remake of Alice in Wonderland that it's broken through the Earth's crust and sailed through the other side of the universe! Zero originality, zero thought, zero creativity, and zero effort! Alice in Wonderland: F--! If there existed a Z-- in grades, I'd give you that instead! And the #1 worst forgotten cartoon is...
- #1: The Slim Shady Show (2000) [Heads up: Some crude sexual references and coarse language in this cartoon.]
- [One of the characters has intercourse with a "South Park" character]
- Dark Striker: Oh, god! Animation honestly doesn't get much worse than this. I know I say that a lot, but it really doesn't. How did I miss this one? This one easily falls into the category of ROTTEN! The Slim Shady Show is absolutely horrendous in every way you can imagine — it's insulting, it's stupid, it's immature, it's crass, it's annoying, it has no reason to exist, it's pointless, it's boring; it's just Eminem being obnoxious!
- Eminem: Chill, Marshall. You know every time we sees some over-height bulls### celebrities got to beat them down.
- Dark Strider: Because you know what cartoons need more of? White Rappers. With animation that looks like the remains of an uncleaned Taco Bell toilet. The jokes are spiteful, weak, and only made more unbearable by the rapper's self-obsessed voice chiming in every half a second. I am a little biased on this one because I find kidney stones more pleasant than Eminem. But even if it wasn't just Eminem parading his insecurities and ego, it's still among the worst cartoons I've seen! The cartoon looks God-Awful! I mean, just look at this brownish greamy red color palette! So this plot tends to revolve around this sad waste of oxygen as he beats up celebrities who made fun of him before, and sends entire buses of schoolchildren drowning in the ocean, because, you know, that's funny. Yeah, what a class act, Eminem. I hope you're happy with yourself. This show is offensive, it's crass, it's annoying, and sums up Eminem pretty well. It was an endless slog to watch these, and they're only 5 minutes each! The only redeeming feature is that there's only 5 episodes. I'm sorry to go on for so long, but I just despise everything about this cartoon!
- [Marshal says “as f###!” and beats up a character with gym equipment with the help of Eminem]
- Dark Strider: That's it! Congratulations, Slim Shady Show! You have now replaced King Star King as the #4 worst cartoon of all time! Well done, you utter peace of revolting defecation! Frankly, I think my hero, Weird Al, summed up this cartoon, and Eminem, best of all!
- [An interview with "Weird Al" Yankovic and Eminem]
- Eminem: You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
- Weird Al: What? I told ya- Look, I said that I-WHAT? I said I-
- Eminem: You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?
- Weird Al: Shut Up! SHUT UUP!! SHUT UUUP!!!
- Eminem: You know what I'm saying?
- Weird Al: Yes, yes I know what you're saying, alright?!
- The Conclusion
- Dark Strider: Clearly, I was WRONG! There's clearly NO hope for cartoons! In fact, I'm gonna watch some modern cartoons right now, just to prove my point!
- [Watches the shows from his Best Modern Cartoons list; thus giving him a new orange shirt for his reviews]
- PhantomStrider: Hey! This feels perfect! Alright, thanks for watching! And I'll see you next time!